it's beginning to look a lot like...

I have been a bit cranky lately. Could it be the post-party blues? Could it be today's fourth load of laundry flooding the kitchen floor? Could it be my lack of motivation to finish Friday's lesson plan? Could it be that as much as we sweep and clean, even our dust has dust?! Could it be the upstairs neighbor's nighttime romps - his thud, thud, thudding (c'mon buddy, can't you at least change it up a bit?) and her best When Harry Met Sally diner scene impression - that keep me awake at night?

I know my crank-factor is tuned way up today for reasons beyond dusting, studying and not-so-neighborly low-budget adult film re-enactments...but my soul searching has me stuck in this rut. Just so you know, this is not me complaining about Beijing. I love it here. We've made a nice home for ourselves; we entertain a little here and there; we've made friends; I talk to the doormen when I can; I say ni hao to every high-rise Chinese speaking pooch in our building (I am speaking literally here about dogs. Last week, one stole my glove right off of my hand!).

Could it be because my brain is shutting down? Or maybe it's not my brain, but it's my voice and tongue and mouth that are not following my brain's signals, working in unison to produce the correct sounds. Green light, GO, damnit! This week I hit a road block with my Mandarin - more like I swerved into the other lane unexpectedly, and hit a pot hole. The other day, I had no idea what my teacher was saying for five whole minutes. Five. 5. Five. Whole. Minutes. That's an eternity in another language! I was just in the midst of reciting my mantra to stop myself from tearing up in front of her, while she looked at me with that "I know you know what I am saying" expression, when I regained my Mandarin consciousness and slowly made my way back into the correct lane (just trying to maintain the highway analogy). This was supposed to be a blog post about Christmas and Season's Greetings and Holiday Cheer! 

But instead...Sorry, I've gone all Charlie Brown on you.

Here, let's have a look at this:

OK. Now a feel a bit better.
plus, while writing this I opened the bag of Christmas M&Ms my sister sent us and ate one fifth of the bag.